Sex with Timaree

Question to the Sexpert:

“Ok I’m going to cut right to the chase: please uncover the mystery of female ejaculation and overall vaginal wetness.  Some women are like dripping faucets, Niagara Falls and even Old Faithful so why does it vary so much?”

Ahh, yes, the age-old question of “what is that coming out of your vagina?”

While both general vaginal lubrication and female ejaculation involve liquids emanating from the same basic region, you’re actually asking about two separate functions within the female body.

Let’s start from the beginning of getting wet, also known as: seeing images of Ryan Reynolds without a shirt. Well, sometimes it doesn’t start that way. Sometimes panties get moist for no good reason and sometimes full-on sexual activity doesn’t elicit any reaction. Why? Well, because, that’s why.

Let’s say you are on certain birth control like Ortho-Cyclen or Depo Provera, taking allergy meds that dry up your sinuses, are drunk, are smoking (whatever), or are taking antidepressants, there is a possibility things will be a tad drier downstairs. Even getting a dirty hot lap dance from Rihanna can’t guarantee that your vagina will start gearing up for action. There are also diminished effects caused by stress, pregnancy and just being at certain points in the menstrual cycle. So, as you are probably already gathering, this is not a cut and –errr- dry matter.

The point is that the Bartholin’s glands, which are located just slightly below and to the left and right of the opening of the vagina (there are two of them in total), secrete mucous when they become engorged with blood, pushing out the moisture that had been residing in the cells. Estrogen and hydration play a huge role in how much lubrication is created, which is why women after menopause (who are not making nearly as much of their own estrogen) often have big issues with keeping things slippery enough.

If a woman ejaculates, however, it’s an entirely separate process stemming from a different pair of glands, namely, the Skene’s glands, located above the opening of the vagina, near the urethra. Now you’ve probably heard someone authoritatively saunter up to the conversation declaring that female ejaculation is not real or that the resulting fluid is actually just urine. Next time that person says that, you can pat them gently on the shoulder and say, “nice try, dipshit.”

Now they’re not total dipshits, just a little bit of a dipshit, like the people who think to themselves, “you know what? Today I’m gonna go buy a pair of Crocs.” And I say that because even the most eminent researchers in the field of female sexual response are not a hundred percent certain about how female ejaculation works, why it happens and why the composition of the fluid varies so much from woman to woman.

When analyzed in a lab, the ejaculate is usually found to contain prostatic fluid, which scientists had previously thought was only created in the male prostate. The samples also usually contain some degree of urine too, but these women are not just peeingall over or anything.

But, as you mentioned, not all women are gushers and some gushers have comparatively dry orgasms and we really aren’t entirely certain why. There is likely a connection between the ejaculatory response and G spot orgasms but brand new research  is showing that perhaps not all women even have G spots and that they appear in a variety of sizes, which would account for the vast differences between one partner and another. Other research implies that women might ejaculate all the time, without knowing it because the fluid shoots backwards into the bladder instead of being expelled.

So, in order to answer as concisely as your question was written: bodies are different and that’s fine and healthy and to find out the full ins, outs and whys of this matter, researchers are going to have to do a lot more work. In the meantime, just enjoy the vaginas to which you have access and appreciate them for being the unique little snowflakes they are.