This classic column originally appeared at the Barbershop Notebooks. Check back here at SexwithTimaree on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays for fresh content.
This week I’m not responding to any reader questions for three reasons:
1. I want to. What of it? You wanna start something?
2. It looks like everyone took December off from sending me legit queries. Last time was scraping the bottom of the barrel and nobody ended up happy, least of all me.
3. I’ve been a pilates instructor for a hot minute, trying to help people meet their fitness goals. And I can’t just sit here waiting for someone to happen to be sitting in their kitchen, eating Froot Loops in chocolate milk, realizing it’s time to make another totally ignorable New Years Resolution and be prompted to write in about the sexual benefits of regular exercise.
So, as a result, I present you, loyal readers, with my 1 Year Anniversary Column: Sex and Exercise-O-Rama.
WHAT YOU ALREADY KNOW BECAUSE EVERYBODY KNOWS
If you legitimately were unaware prior to this column that regular exercise can make you look better, feel better about yourself and improve your overall physical and mental health, then I congratulate you, Mr. or Ms. Literate House Pet, for managing to jump up onto your owner’s desk and scrolling to this part.
I’m not trying to make you feel bad for not getting out jogging, huffing and puffing in the cold winter air to the local gym. I know you have crap to do and there are a lot more pressing and fun-looking things to do with your time (There’s an I Love New York 2 marathon running on VH1 today, for instance) than pay money to get all sweaty and tired and stare over into the mirror to realize, “shit, I’m starting to look like my mom.”
But let’s not pretend it’s remotely new information to you that lifting weights, getting cardio workouts and engaging in stretching is important for a number of reasons. You know it reduces your risk of heart disease, cancer, diabetes, osteoperosis and a crap ton of other medical issues. You know hittin the gym makes prancing around naked in front of a partner much more comfortable and you know getting physical activity reduces stress and makes that obnoxious coworker significantly more tolerable. So let’s move on.
LONGER, STRONGER, DOWN TO GET THE FRICTION ON…ER
Aside from the fact general aerobic and anaerobic endurance is improved through regular exercise, leaving you able to keep up frantic pacing and maintain difficult positions, working out increases your very desire for sexual activity.
You can do bicep curls till your hands bleed and it won’t fix your premature ejaculation, but once you practice your PC squeeze technique and can reign in your orgasm, working out will aid in the continuation of sexual activity for longer and more frequent sessions and increase your interest in doing so. Nothing spices up a dulling sex life like being able to whip out a fancy new position and showing your partner an alternative view of the action.
With increased flexibility and strength you can consider a wider variety of positions, ones where the majority of weight is born by one partner in order to reach a fantastic angle or where legs find themselves moved entirely out of the way. You know that G-Spot you’ve read so much about? Hitting it is much easier from angles that are enabled by ordinary pilates moves. I’m actually developing instructional materials that will increase the practical applications of such fantastic exercises as leg bridges and the jackknife.
Women out there may have found placing a pillow under their behinds during intercourse makes for a good time. Now imagine holding that same position (on your back, feet flat, knees bent, elevating your ass above the bed), under your own power. Not only does it look way hotter, but you’ll increase the intensity of feeling by having all those muscles clenched. And you won’t have to bespoil a perfectly good pillow.
The missionary position alone offers further great examples. If a man has been doing plenty of swooping push ups (starting out up, with your hands placed below and in front of you, moving your body in a swooping motion forward and downward to work more muscles than a regular pushup) or the woman has been doing her reverse crunches (lay on your back while your legs move from being pulled into your chest to straight out, making your body one long line, and back again), it’s a lot more interesting for everyone. Now, granted, positions are harderto hold when you’re distracted by arousal than when you’re just working out, but you’ll be better at it with more practice.
EVEN MORE BETTER GOOD STUFF
For those male readers who have ever had difficulties with erection, improved blood flow brought about by regular aerobic work outs can’t hurt. Aside from popping little blue pills, the best way to improve circulation and peripheral blood flow is exercise.
Add to this discussion that sex itself is a form of exercise. That is, if you’re doing more than just lying there and breathing heavily, you lazy bastard. The increased heart rate means more calories are being burned and strongly clenching muscles is valuable even if it takes place under a blanket instead of surrounded by free weights.
So, you’ve gotten a little more motivation, right? Get out there and start the sweating and heavy breathing!
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