Hey kittens, it’s ThrowBack Thursday and time to check out a classic piece. This one originally ran in March of 2010.
Question to the Sexpert:
“I’m looking to meet a man. Like now. But my schedule doesn’t allow for wasting time and my routine keeps me from meeting new people. I go to the gym and out to eat, but am definitely not into the bar scene. I know I’m supposed to just go online but I feel it’s really important I hit it off with someone in person and I know people found love BEFORE the internet. What do I do?”
Hey! Hey hey hey hey….. I will not have you slandering online dating. After all, online dating has brought me…. Well… Ok, fine, so online dating doesn’t work for everyone.
All right, let’s find you a man, old school.
How to Meet Men on Lunch Hour
So you go out to eat, but it’s not really easy to pick up somebody at a restaurant, unless you’re parked on a bar stool. Hope is not lost- have a business card with you and grab another professional while grabbing lunch.
- Go to a place where you can stand in line to order- like a deli, a Chipotle or Qdoba. You have to spend time with people, it is acceptable to be there alone (unlike a bar) but it will be over quickly.
- If you’re looking for a particular type of man- go to the places near where he would work. Try a hospital cafeteria or the bistro near the financial center of town
- Hit up the grocery store for pre-made items. Grocery stores are meat-markets both literally and figuratively. A different type of guy will be at places like Whole Foods versus ShopRite, so shop where the products you want will be stocked.
- Try going to different restaurants than you normally would or your normal places at different times- you’ll see a new crop of people. Or eat outside the office, in a park or in a scenic locale. Or use your lunch break to go someplace else like the gym.
How to Meet Men at the Gym
You’re already going there and the pickins are hotter here than a lot of places. Plus, you get to see people at their best (doing athletic stuff) and worst (doing athletic stuff). You can see their work ethic, as well as their vanity. It’s a tiny slice of life, but very telling.
- -Be real, don’t wear tons of makeup or dress like you’re headed to the club. This is, however, a perfect opportunity to find flattering workout clothes and show off the goods.
- Go to group exercise classes where there are men (more functional fitness, less dance for better odds), check out the rock wall or pool. Get involved , smile and talk to people. Be friendly, talk longer to the targets of interest. You have stuff in common: find it. Discuss news on the TVs, what you have going on later that night, whatever.
- Don’t shit talk! No making fun of peoples’ bodies, outfits or workout form, even if it seems like easy conversation.
- Don’t interrupt when someone is in the midst of a set of weights or the middle of a run. Wait until they’re headed to the water fountain, stretching or chat them up at the end of a class.
- It’s important to open your horizons and consider a wider variety than you already do. You don’t have to settle, but don’t have an arbitrary checklist that excludes perfectly good candidates.
- Start going to places where people are doing things you want to be doing: book stores, coffee shops, dog parks, meetups, sports events, church, volunteering opportunities, political organizations, gallery openings, benefits etc. You’ll have common interests and a chance to be passionate and interesting in front of each other.
- Change up what you’re doing whenever possible. The current routine is keeping you from meeting new people and your attitude needs a re-charge. Lucky people are the ones who are more likely to try new things and take opportunities. Say yes to random invites from friends, take a different way home from work, anything to shake you out of a rut.
- Try places where large numbers of dudes are: hardware stores, golf courses, bowling alleys, car shows, hunting and outdoor equipment stores. Or if you’re too busy: be flirtier at the places you were already going to run errands.
- Make friends everywhere. Even if you don’t find them attractive, they might be a friend. People love to match-make. The more people you know, the wider the net you have to cast for that perfect fish.
- Use your friends. Go to social functions with them and their work friends, take every invite to go to a party or social gathering. Even if you don’t meet someone, you’ll get out, practice chatting with strangers and meet other people who might know someone who is single