Coming Out / contraception / dating / Desire / Long Term Relationships / Podcast / Rape / safer sex / Sexually Transmitted Infections

Can You Be Honest About Your Sexual History?

Hey friends, it’s Throwback Thursday and we’re checking out an episode of the podcast from February, 2014.  I answer a question about the ethics of honest sexual history discussions, and what is required for informed consent. Do you have to tell your partner about every little thing? Should they have to ask directly? Does it matter if it’s a one time hookup?

doge swtMany honest. So intimacy. Wow. amaze.
Remember, you can always hit me up with your queries, no matter how big or small.

Listen to it here or on iTunes, Podbay, or Feedburner, where you can subscribe and get all the episodes even sooner!

Questions? Comments? Violent reactions? Email or tweet @timaree_leigh See more at and

2 thoughts on “Can You Be Honest About Your Sexual History?

  1. Great discussion. Few questions/observations:

    With the prevalence of HPV nowadays, if a man knows of female partners he has had with HPV, it would be safe to assume he has it too. Even taking protection into account, is HPV in a former partner something a guy needs to bring up? Seems buzzkilly on a couple levels.

    I don’t care about sexual history as long as I don’t hear about it. I just don’t wanna know. Makes me very uncomfortable. My partner isn’t the same way. She wants to share everything. How do you deal when people are at such separate ends of the spectrum?

    • Caesaro,

      Good questions!

      With HPV: it’s so bloody prevalent that it’s generally pretty accurate to assume that, if you’ve had unprotected sex, you have been exposed to it. It’s still worth trying to prevent (get the vaccine if you’re young young enough and female enough, use protection) and important to get PAP smears regularly. But it’s really hard to maintain a stigma about honestly discussing it when MOST people have had it. Having information on prevention is important when broaching the subject.

      As to sex history: as with anything where partners wildly differ, the solution is in unveiling what the underlying emotional need is. What drives the desire to know? What fear/hope makes this information important and interesting? Addressing that emotional need directly is far more effective than just caving and giving out information that you don’t want to give.

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